Laundry fish

It's been a while.
I don't know where you went but I know you're not coming back. I know you're not thinking about coming back. I don't want you to feel like I want you to come back just for the sake of coming back, but I do want you to be there. I want to be there. For you, with you, near you, beside you, to hear you, to feel you. Not for the sake of those things, but for the sake of my mind. I'm losing it. I try to go to sleep and I wake up in sweat, my dreams dark and miserable. I run through shadowed corners with voices pressed against me. This loneliness is consuming me. How can one feel alone in a room full of people? I feel as if the world closed in and the only space I can even remotely squeeze into is one where I have been reduced to curling my legs under my chin, where I lay quietly, whimpering for help. But you can't hear me. You can't see me. You refuse to hear me. You refuse to see me. These restrictions have left you the inability to touch me, let alone know of my existence. I don't like being cut off from such valuable resources. I want to be known, heard, seen. You are the light to my nightmares, will you come near? You know who you are, yet you don't want to know. To even have you read this would be a miracle. If you only knew what I wanted to say to you right now. Confront me, please, I need a word. Just a word; a small conversation with you. I need to tell you my thoughts; I've only heard of yours. I've been polite and tried not to bother, but I'd like to express all of my feelings, finally. In person would be most pleasant 
h&k
-tatermarie