Waking music

What exactly is insomnia? The inability to fall asleep or the fear of being asleep? People toy with their habits because they want to see how far they can push the envelope before it rips. Of course, some people like to resort to medications because they think they have problems, but they really don't; they just like to play blame games so they don't have to feel guilty. I'm tired, but I don't sleep. I don't know why, I just don't choose to. I probably have a reason, but I don't know exactly what that is. People ask me why I stay up so late on school nights and I don't have an answer. Simply put I guess i can't go to sleep. Paranoia plays a role sometimes along with guilt or insecurity but besides that, nothing else controls my sleeping patterns. I don't sleep until I fall asleep and even then, I fight to stay awake. I don't wake up until something or someone wakes me up. My lack of sleep makes me a generally optimistic person. I wish I had an explanation for this phenomenon but I don't. At night I'm very emotional and very vituperative to people, but during the day, I radiate waves of enthusiasm which in turn makes those around me happy as well. I think it is quite interesting if you ask me.
Aha so I heard a funny joke today from my friend "Josie" and he said, "how do you get two violas to play together?" and my general reply, "what", he answered, "shoot one of them!" ahaha it was soo funny. Of course, you have to be in orchestra to understand why we poke fun at the viola section... And also he had another one that said, "how do trumpet players greet each other?" and the reply was, "hey, I'm better than you" gahh it's funny because my boyfriend is a trumpet player XD.
h&k
-tatermarie